Friday Photo: Into the Wild

Disney World, last summer.


I'll be hanging photos at an art show in June, and am thinking this may be a contender.  I was going to theme the show fauna - for animals - but am thinking it will be more of an odds and ends type thing.

Thank You

Two words: it's very simple.  But the sentiment behind the words is much more, evoking affirmations when expected and most pleasant reactions when unexpected.  The words are powerful, much like "I love you," though used more commonly.


K and I went to a local grocery store to eat dinner before hitting an art show downtown.  The store is upscale, with a preferable selection of items.  The staff are noticeably friendly and helpful, and have demonstrated this to me every time possible.  But I was not expecting what happened last Saturday evening.


I had picked up a latte - I'd been craving one for days.  We checked out together and I pointed the cashier to the price code on my paper cup.  There were not many registers open at the time, and this particular cashier was evidently busy.  "Thank you," she said, looking me in the eye.  Her voice had an inflection in it, as if surprised.  Her tone was enthusiastically grateful.


Immediately, I experienced a feeling of happy contentment.  I felt my body warming, as if reacting to this simple phrase.  That she took a quick moment to connect with me was unexpectedly meaningful.


We acknowledge other drivers on the road for allowing us to pass or enter traffic.  We hold the door for fellow patrons who are just behind us at an entrance.  Cordially recognizing one another is a very pleasant, natural way to brighten the day of someone else - and by doing it, brightening our own as well.

Image: Getty Images

Manic Monday

Today, like all Mondays, I did not go to work in the morning. It is the tail end of my unwanted three day weekend.  Last spring, my hours at work were cut in half.  When my hours were reduced, I asked for Mondays off.  That way, I figured, I would have one weekday to go on job interviews and take care of any errands.  It was a good idea, saving me from working less hours per day and giving me total control of my schedule.  I find it curious that Mondays are so long and arduous.  All of my friends are at work. Even if I do my chores and catch up on writing AND reading.. I still have a ton of leftover time.  Try as I might, my situation has not improved much since then, save a couple of temporary freelance opportunities.  And babysitting.



Today I went to the bank.  As I approached my parked car, I noticed a car next to mine, the engine running, the driver in the driver's seat. The car was parked face out; mine was parked face in. Window down, as if the driver could communicate with me.  Not good, I thought, and made a commitment to getting in the car as fast as possible.


"Excuse me," I heard.


I did not want to get hit on.


I looked. He said, "Can you tell me where the post office is? I need to get a passport."


Harmless, I thought - Sort of. I gave him good directions and got into my car. I extended more than I should have and told him that he would need to make an appointment first, they would not accept a walk-in for a passport.

"So, can you talk for a couple of minutes?"


Fuck.


"No, I was happy to help you, but I'm not interested."


"You're pretty; are you married?"


"I know. I get hit on a lot. I'm not doing this."

Before I was off that street, my phone rang. It was the couple I babysit for. I was not in the mood for casual conversation, being a friend, or figuring out what weekend night I wanted to sacrfice. I didn't want to talk, but I also wanted to get it over with - so I took the call. 
I let the mom know that I was on the road, and would check my schedule and call her right back.  As predicted, I spent many minutes on the phone talking about things other than babysitting.  I was direct and to the point.  I avoided an uneccessary orientation sort of trip out of town with the mom (I did it before for this family, once is enough - besides, would I be paid to go for a car ride where I wouldn't be the authority in charge?  Was it appropriate to ask?) 

Since I've spent every Monday since midway last year mourning a full-time job, I ought to take every opportunity for income.  I reviewed my expenses this morning, and I really must take every opportunity for income.  I never imagined that when I came out of college with a four-year degree and an impressive list of leadership positions in student clubs.. that I'd be working part time and babysitting.

I'll be babysitting for the next six or seven weeks, once a week at minimum.

They are not well-behaved: they hit, lie, and test me.  They also not poorly behaved: they listen to me.  But they're very curious, and I'm not so entertained.  Last time, I found myself fielding sexual morality queries from an eleven year old: "I saw the previews for Iron Man 2.  The guy takes this girl home that he barely knows and they have SEX!  Don't you think that's a little..."

"Yes, it's wrong.  I'm not having this conversation with you."


Separately, theres something about disciplining other people's children that makes me mighty uncomfortable.  Children whose regular household rules are so different, more permissive, than the ones I would instill for my own family.  But I suppose I discipline other people's children more often than I know, as evidenced by the men who shamelessly hit on me and every other female.


Alternately, I am so grateful for my own high expectations of people, and for my own sources of income.  In times like these, people are just happy to have employment, and I am. But I'm also hungry, and happy, and the destination is the journey, so I make the most of it and stay mellow and calm, and most importantly, content.
 
But I don't entertain aggressive male strangers or bad kids.  They, simply, are misbehaving.

Image: Getty Images

Friday Photo: Michael Hussar

This image is so sick, I could stare at it for awhile.  I found this artist, Michael Hussar in a magazine.  
Check out a video of Hussar painting with a tattoo artist from L.A. Ink.


Photo: MichaelHussar.biz

Idol Picks: Update

After the past couple of weeks I have totally changed my picks for American Idol. I want Lee to win, and I dig Casey and Siobhan.

 

Photos: Poptower

Friday Photo: World in a Bubble

Meet Tom Storm.  He's a photographer with a love of traveling - who shoots images reflected in bubbles.

This crowd is from 4O1! day this year, April 1st.  (I am pictured right under the "At Bat" on the scoreboard.) Check out 4O1! Creative here.  They sure know how to host a party.

Table for 1

I talk frequently with a coworker on the benefits of doing things alone.  Movies, lunch, drinking (seriously – without a drinking problem, it’s OK to drink alone.)  He is a couple of years younger than me, so I make an extra effort to relate things to him.  I feel like, because of the age difference, he is still impressionable, if only a tiny bit.

“Ever hear of Glenn Miller?” he asked today. “Yeah,” I replied. “Really?” he asked – none of his friends had heard of the orchestra.  “Pretty sure my grandparents listen to them,” I explained.  He hesitated for a moment, and then said that they are coming to the State Theatre and he would like to go.  I encouraged him, and said to go alone. “Have you written about this yet,” he asked. “Going alone, I mean.  You should.”

No – I hadn’t, but I will. And so I am.

The aforementioned situation: Anthony will be the youngest person in the audience, if he chooses to go to the concert.  If he brings one of his peers, he’ll likely talk the person into the concert.  The person will not enjoy the concert nearly as much as Anthony, if enjoyed at all.  And so Anthony may find himself explaining his musical taste, having to defend his opinion, even finding himself indebted to this friend for the experience.

To this, I say this – Forget it. Go alone.

Things every woman should learn:

Going to a bar solo, ordering a drink, and reserving the right not to speak with anyone, refusing to accept a “free” drink, and not feeling socially awkward.

Having lunch.  By yourself.

Going to a movie.  By yourself.

Like everyone, my life experience so far is unique.  For the vast majority of my life, I have found myself not in a serious relationship.  I have not run with a crowd, ever.  I have never had an entourage. This is fine by me.  It doesn’t keep me from living, however: from going out to eat, going to a movie, out for a quick drink.

One day, I decided that I wanted to see Up.  I am a spur-of-the-moment type, and I left work in the late afternoon and caught a matinee.  It was awesome.  I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Admittedly, I’m a writer, which is a hopelessly alone type of thing.  I can’t write and be social at the same time.  (Even more, if I’m not writing, I’m probably unhappy and not going to be much to be around anyway.)  I pen dining reviews once a month, so I’m always going out to eat.  Often, I have no choice but to be alone because even working with my own schedule makes it tough to get away at the right time – restaurant hours, my work hours, and publishing deadline considered.  Forget coordinating with a friend.  If I wasn’t already comfortable dining alone, I’d just be getting comfortable with it now.

When I was just out of college, I moved across the country.  I spent a lot of time alone.  I had family and roommates, but finding friendship is quite difficult, just like dating.  As I explored my new city, I did much of it alone.  At age 21, these were the first years that I found myself going out to eat alone.  Once I had done it, I realized that it wasn’t so bad.  And even if you aren’t a food writer, there’s no shame in dining alone.  No one to argue with about money.  No need to feel guilty about what you’re eating - any more guilty than you already are.

Sitting at a bar, alone, is understandably scary for most women.  You might be thinking that everyone is looking at you, they are judging, etc.  It’s not true.  Some people will presuppose that you are alone, they may find you attractive, and they may think that you want to be picked up.  So all you need to do is to act uninterested.  To do this, use body language – turn away.  If you’ve accidentally locked eyes, give a quick, blank smile, and look away.  Demonstrate that you are busy by reading.  Some people will try to talk to you.  However, most times I have gone out alone, I have not had this problem.  The one exception was in Los Angeles, and L.A. is not a reflection of the rest of the country.  I found that the most aggressive people actually wanted to talk about themselves, not me.

The more experience you have, the more you will grow comfort with taking yourself out and defending yourself. 

Face it.  You don't always have an option for company at times that you want to go out.  If you feel comfortable going out alone occasionally, you won’t need to tolerate someone else.  And if you don’t enjoy your own company, why should anyone else?

Image: Getty Images